An occupied mind

My mind is saturated. So much so that the thought of writing original work seems impossible right now.

I’m just over two weeks into this new gig. The learning-tasks I’ve been told to undertake are manifold: a new platform (Microsoft AX — an ERP), a new language (X++), a new business domain (transportation mfg.), a new scripting language (Powershell), and a new and complex build and deployment process.

Needless to say, my mind is fully occupied. So much so that I have zero desire to sit down to pen fiction. Which leads me to ponder the concept of mental overload. I’m quite content right now with my mind being crammed with newness. It’s as though I had this brain-tank that was running at half full for a few years. Into it I could pour all sorts of fiction fancy. I’d fall asleep fabricating new plots and stories. Now? Now, I fall asleep juggling the new business puzzle pieces that have been dumped into my mind.

And I’m OK with it. I’m not going to try and fight the trend. I figure that once I get acclimated my brain-tank will begin to empty and into it I’ll once again trickle oddities and oblique oscillations of thought.

Do you cycle between mental saturation of workplace or family and story time? Or can you keep them both topped-off and bubbling?


16 thoughts on “An occupied mind

  1. Oh, absolutely. I haven’t been able to write “creatively” in years. Maybe ever. I’m always so preoccupied with normal life (work, fam, social, etc) that there’s nothing left at the end of the day. And if I dive in at the beginning of the day, nothing else will be achieved. So, creativity has taken a (lifelong) back seat (except for designing gaming adventures for Mrs C and, occasionally, others). It just uses such a different part of my brain than all the other stuff, and all the other stuff won the game of life.

    But as for all your new educations lately … I’m impressed! I can do a little of so many things but absolutely no programming. I wish I had the patience (and/or) time for that! When you describe it I don’t understand any of it but I’m impressed as hell. Go AM!

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  2. That is something I am rather familiar with. However, in my case it was not a good thing. I’m glad to hear that you are enjoying the “newness”, and don’t feel the need to write.
    I just hope that (for your sake), your brain will require some writing in the future.

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  3. We cycle. The key, I think, is discipline. And sometimes that goes out the window as well. Discipline and desire are often at odds, editing your work keeps your hand in. I shut down for over two weeks, fuck everything, and plugged my analog synth rig together. George is right, this place isn’t about quality and rarely decent input. It is about discipline. Doing it, regardless. Indeed there are times when, like the last two weeks, I felt like I’ll never write for shit. I can’t (won’t) write like a lot of what I read, can’t believe people need to be led by the fucking nose through a book, or need all the wordy political asides attributed through character walk and thought. Writerly directives I cringe at and yet find a certain style skill I play with. Adverbs injected, NO dialogue tags. Clever. And then, in my ignored inbox the music guys are giving me intelligent glitch tools. Glitch is like crack to me. Something useful out of something else that was supposed to be – I’m on that. An act of self overloading, like thriving on creative anxiety in the midst of a middle finger about all of it moment. The Hot Girl 3, I found a dead spot. Can’t post that. Cruel to discover yourself dropping a couple of chapters worth of out of ideas running in place this shit goes nowhere.
    Yeah, it comes and goes. Learning, assimilating, that biz uses up a lot of creative brain juice. Carve out some time, to keep from getting rusty.

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    1. Yeah, that.
      I suspect I won’t be able to stay away for long. The yearning is too strong. “Expression” sounds like dirt cheap cliche but that’s what it is. I want to feel my authorian muscles flexed, my writerly limbs stretched and stressed. Maybe time away is just our brains telling us to assimilate what nuances we’ve layered over top the cake. Let them sink in and become part of rather than mere decoration.
      And maybe what settles in are the important skills that flesh out our writer’s repertoire.
      Or maybe I’m just fuckin’ lazy and needed a fuckin’ break.


      1. Naw. Stale is an evolving condition, with causality equally evolving. The need to express is more the need to re-connect with whatever one would call “Muse.” Where we are never in control of anything but a minimal skill set and along for the ride, outlines or no be damned.

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  4. I definitely relate. The past month or so, I’ve been making my brain work way harder than it’s used to. I’m used to easy jobs, and freelance-writing-for-money is not easy. It’s made it very difficult to take on any new fiction projects, though I find that editing my series in the evenings is a nice way of unwinding. I think creativity is very cyclical.

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  5. One more thing: I can’t figure out which is a bigger waste of my time: getting my chess rating higher, (What’s the point, computers can beat the world champion: Google Alhpa One for an AI computer that will blow your mind…) or blogging on WP. (What’s the point, no one’s paying me and we got guys like PH creeping around…) However, if I look at both of them as amusing and good brain exercise, then they both have value…if only to me. Now, YOU have value to an entire organization that pays you. That’s better! Keep us updated and thanks for all the interactions!

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    1. Over the years I’ve noticed the cyclical nature of my pastimes. I may have, at times, filled myself with dread at having to press on with one or three of them when I really didn’t want to. Nowadays I just let them fade and return as they may.
      The writing pursuit is important. But, I’ll not force it. I’m content, for now, with my workaday brain-cram, leaving it at the office (when I can) and not being burdened by regimen until tomorrow. I know the desire for fiction will return. (Off to edit your stuff…)

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  6. My tank only holds 12 gallons. Then I’m maxed out. I think you’re fortunate to be contributing again to a larger organization that obviously needs you. That’ll stave off the Alzheimer’s! Learning is good at any age!

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