No, this is not a basketball post.
(Yes, this is just two hours — subjective time — after my last Writer’s Log. And I really did spend the time on my writing.)
Point 1) The sense that I’ve progressed comes with the trepidation that I may regress.
Point 2) The just-plain-raw-excitement I feel when sitting down to continue writing this YAAS is just that, raw-excitement.
1) It’s a great feeling. I’ve dragged myself through the mud, the blood, and the beer and come out from under the barbed wire scarred, but serviceable. The fact (a subjective concept bound by context and environment) exists that I have gotten better at this writing ability. Now, and oddly juxtaposed to my goal, I sense that said ability is not (or may not be) firmly entrenched within my psyche.
I fear that I might revert back to shitty writing.
And this specter of doubt looms like a carrion feeder above my desk. However,
2) I’ve got a robust concept framed. I know my skills have improved. And I’ve tied the entire story line into my GRAND TIME LINE. So, I feel like I can run with this YAAS for a good long time. Which sets me to titter when I place my ass on this seat (no back, just a stool really) and begin to tippy-tap out words that flesh out this next WIP.
Points One and Two are firmly in competition for supremacy.
Will I lose this ability and return to suck-writing. Or, will I convince myself that the Universe is absurd, that nothing really matters, and that it is how I interpret my own world that counts. And if the latter, then why am I writing this blog when I should be
Anonymole - apocryphal agitators 
And how is it that you know you’ve gotten better at writing?
Nearly 3 years later (2.5) – Do you still fear that you will revert?
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My progress is debatable. It’s only a suspicion. My gauge is reading old texts like this, finding the mistakes, the poorly constructed sentences, and knowing they are poorly constructed.
It’s an evolution. The fellow just below this comment has contributed substantially to my sense of critique.
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I sense that said ability is not (or may not be) firmly entrenched within my psyche.
Hope that it is not. As it is one of those things that morphs from moment to moment. To assume any measure of control is to lose control.
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Yes, but measuring progress is a valid mode of validating one’s capability. And I accept that the current mode is being molded as we speak. But there are thresholds that can be examined and checked off in a virtual progress report.
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“Art is what happens when technique becomes invisible.” Mikail Barishnykov
Don’t read that as “When I was 7 I learned to jump, so I checked that one off.” When the story, the expression, becomes more important than the skill set, the skill set will take care of itself.
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Nothing matters is the way to go, everything follows from that. Thanks. Duke
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It IS how you interpret you own world that counts, IMO. We all live in our own little bubbles. If the world at large agrees with your bubble, you get published. If not, stay excited!
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Nice!
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Cute ending. If you’re excited, means something.
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