Dear Mudge, Peanut butter

Dear Mudge,

You, sir, are one of the most enigmatic personalities who swims in these semi-anonymous waters. The net is nothing if not strong opinions voiced with impunity, don’t you think?

I hear your appeal to elevate the word “tribe” to mean actual, honest-to-god, tribes of native humans collected together for survival and cohesion. I hereby relinquish my use of the term for specious purposes (and I have used it frequently over the years). However, as you attempt to convince us that your curmudgeonly ways permeate your actual life, I call foul. As evidence I call forth this very repository of hypocrisy and your comments forthwith. Not even Gandhi himself could be more polite and considerate when addressing some of the just-as-strong opinions voiced here against/about our correspondence.

You sir, are a nice guy.

Regarding your supposition that intellect begets misery I would wholeheartedly agree. I’ve mentioned this very concept within these pages. I went searching and found this: and, in fact, if you search for “unhappy” here you’ll find a set of posts that pertain to this discussion. Basically (and I do mean that in its purest form of the word) the smarter you are the greater capacity you have for [words that reflect misery]. And happiness is about as far as you can get from intelligence.

Okay, that’s enough overt hot-linking (TomBeingTom). (Does anybody actually click embedded links? I don’t.)

On to my chosen topic of the moment: Peanut butter.

Seriously. I have this fascination for the origins of food. Where the hell did peanuts first come into culinary usage? (South America/Peru). Sesame seeds? The Fertile Crescent (where they may have been the first oil-pressed crop). Pistachios? (Afghanistan, as are hazelnuts). Turkeys, Tomatoes, Turmeric, Tilapia, Tapioca, Thyme, Turnips…

Hazelnuts / filberts grown in Oregon and Afghanistan

We don’t often consider food provenance but I do. Italians and tomatoes and polenta, Irish and potatoes, Asia and their peppers, all of it barely 500 years old, all of it “stolen” native foods. While humans have obviously been cultivating and consuming these foods for millennia, we rarely consider how recent our spice, nut, fruit and veggie basket has filled out due to globalism. The point I’m slowly getting to here is that, although we love to share food-culture across the planet and, I suspect, eventually, Terran food will be a thing (as opposed to Lunar or Martian food), we refuse to admit our global humanity; the tribe (ahem) of Homo Sapiens Sapiens.

Music, dance, art, food — all of these things tend to unite us. Although, like yourself, I don’t really give a shit about humanity as a cosmic entity, I still like to contemplate grand problems and propose grandiose solutions; they’re like puzzles, intricate quandaries that beg for analysis, elucidation and answers.

And so, in our wretched profundity, embittered by our self administered flagellation, were you to envision a day where your contempt for mankind, as compelling as it might be, is tempered by something, some occurrence, some transformation that renders humanity tolerable—what might that event be? Clearly, sagacious beings before us have gazed upon mankind and hoped someday that our species could elevate itself above its petty differences and see the universe as a frontier only we, humanity can hope to explore. Do you see such a possibility, in some future epoch? A globally shared peanut butter sandwich?

Aw, hell. Fuck that. I’m just yanking your chain. I’m trying to see how many 9+ letter words I can get into a post in remembrance of your dead blogging site.

Oh, and ZorkerBorg? Yeah, fuck him. I despise that pissant, the lucky prick that he is.

Happy dead of winter,

[PS: You’ll notice that if you end a post on a Fuck You tone, few people are wont to comment. I did this intentionally as I wanted to see if both yours and mine both elicited the same disgust. It appears to be the case. I wager that if we end our next correspondences with rainbows and ribbons, we’ll get a different response.]

[PPS: For Mr. Van Helsing, “The Peanut Butter and banana sandwich, or peanut butter, banana and bacon sandwich, sometimes referred to as an Elvis sandwich or simply the Elvis, consists of toasted bread slices with peanut butter, sliced or mashed banana, and sometimes bacon. Honey is seen in some variations of the sandwich.” Wikipedia]

12 thoughts on “Dear Mudge, Peanut butter

  1. I have read numerous studies over the last 25 years that have debunked the lay theory that intelligence equates to misery, or that ignorance is truly bliss. If I remember correctly, the number of folks with an IQ below 100 who are happy (or unhappy) is roughly the same as the number of folks above 130 with the same. When I was young I always thought that if one were smart enough then one ought to be able to use their “gifts” to find happiness, if such a thing were desired and find-able. I dare to say such a thing is, and one can find it should one truly wish to look, at every level of the intellectual scale. In fact, I dare say we each find exactly what we seek.

    As always, I could be entirely wrong about that:

    (Generally speaking, I get about 3 “clicks” a post, but there have been some, like my latest*, where the clicks were innumerable 😉 )



    1. I’m right in there with finding “happy” regardless of intellectual horse power. Uncle Remus’ Laffin’ Place is how I speak of it with old friends.
      If you’re miserable, whose fault is that? More succintly, “If you look at the world through shit colored glasses, what can you expect to see?”

      Liked by 2 people

  2. French Fries and French Dressing have nothing to do with France. Just sayin’. The National Corn Hole championship was recently held in Vegas. Like the way you used corn for literary texture…
    What has been divisive? Has anyone told anyone else to fuck off? If so, I missed it. You and Mudge would overthink a lead pipe, but what the hell. Watching others suffer for that which is beyond illustration is a lot like philosophy 101 television.
    On one of the softsynth websites where I registered something, one of the front page videos was about depression in creatives, particularly during the holidays. I found it amusing in that any excuse for exaggerated depression way.
    The fallacy that the intelligent suffer more than the ignorant or challenged is egregious elitism. How do we know? Maybe they are in agony.
    For many things, this – “Is just is” – is more than ample explanation.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “Ignorance is bliss.” Such sayings are often based on truth. “Knowledge is agony.” The less you know, the happier you can be.
      Perhaps the repertoire of depression is reduced but the intensity of the simplest versions just as deep? I’d buy that.

      Lead is amazing. Pb? Ah Plumbum – waterworks in Latin. Imagine if gold were as prevalent as lead… Did it poison the Roman elite?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. When my mother first came to Canada from England many years ago, she’d never tasted peanut butter. The whole family swooned and thought it was a delicacy, so for a school part, my grandmother made an entire tray of peanut butter sandwiches, which none of the other kids ate because it was so common here. I think my mom and aunt polished off the lot:-) #AmiableExchange Haha!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Peanuts are positioned so dominantly in world culture cuisine, Asian yes, but so many African dishes that I’d thought it originated on that continent. Nope. The sesame seed is another fascinating story. And I neglected to mention the word “corn.” Of course Native Americans call it maize, but the word itself has been in use far longer than yellow-eared corncobs stole the name. Corned Beef? Ah, corn means small kernel — typically salt.
      Years ago I read a novel of ancient Egypt and the author used the word corn, harvesting and grinding corn and I said, not on your Bast. Turns out corn can mean any grain seed.

      Liked by 2 people

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