I needed a break from my WIP: Red Into The Sea…
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I should note that this premise, although simple in concept, was first represented to me in a movie These Final Hours. You can actually watch the whole movie here: Youtube Movies.
Anonymole - apocryphal agitators 
Loved it, although I was really hoping that they would have slept through the alarm and discovered the world hadn’t ended after all, but then, you know what an optimist I am:-)
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I was thinking the same thing.
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Fairly likable types in a dire situation. It’s cool you end the story before the end. Made me think Too bad they’re going to die, and then wonder if in fact that would happen. A story you can chew on for a while.
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It seems that many of these apocalyptic scenarios are staged at the scene right before the true mayhem begins. Once the shit hits the fan most cinematic renditions can be inserted for dramatic effect.
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Scenes of mayhem aren’t my favourites, right up with extended battle or combat scenes. They tire out the thing that delivers the movie in the mind. But the anticipation of disaster has a lot of potential for both writer and reader.
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Short is good. Story is good. Ka-bump. Tripped over the who’s who backstory dump. You wanna do that start with them dragging the chairs downstairs, set the stage. The straight-through gets lost in pinballing over here, over there. Who we are, where we are what’s happening. Stopping in the middle for by the way, let me introduce the band works if you need a few to get in tune, otherwise hit it early or forget it.
OR – Dialogue matters. Let the characters tell us who they are. “You’re some kinda pessimist for a math prof, ya?”
Just sayin’. Good story, re-alignment.
Nobody needs to white knight for Mole, we do this to each other. He knows where I’m full of shit in draft mode. Carry on!
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Got your point. The titles are rough and out of place. A bit of intro would help. Will make notes for revision B.
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It’s there, just needs a visit to your editorial chiropractor. You.
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I love short.
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I’m lovin’ short too.
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For better or for worse, this piece represents the modern day “slice of life”. This might be my absolute favorite of your short stand-alone pieces. I’m not sure which I liked better: your storytelling or the fact that you envision an extinction-level asteroid event…this spring.
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This one is still raw. I’ll have to come back and touch it up for personalizing the people a bit more. They come across a tad hollow for me, now that I’m trying to focus on building tangible characters.
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It’s well worth a touch up. The characters you introduced didn’t strike me as hollow, but you might want to get a second opinion about that as I’ve definitely come to enjoy your stuff tremendously and thus, I’m probably more than a little biased at this point.
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Kiss-ass.
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It’s taken the PrintOnDemand service ages to get your order out. It shipped Friday.
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And not boring. Must add not boring.
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Simple. Clear. Engaging. Entertaining. Well written. Great story!
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Thanks Big G. Writing in my WIP, a spec-fiction story extending my first novel, is tough as I have to remain in period. I have to consider what tech, speech, food, clothing, behavior is appropriate for various characters given the future world in which the story takes place. Writing current fiction is a lot more fluid.
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