17 thoughts on “Hazelle’s Lament

  1. Outstanding. I didn’t find it overexplained at all, and I loved the characters–such a wonderful twist on the fairy tale. I always knew there must be more to it, and you’ve proven that!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Unwrite about 30% of it, and as mentioned ease off the splainin’. “We know who they are by what they say and how they behave.” Otherwise it moves in a line which is nice to see in these days of hopscotch tomorrow is the day before yesterday this afternoon. The original versions of many “fairy tales” as compiled by literate French women are considerably bloodier than the Golden Book versions so bring on the boiling cauldron and pairing knives.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Tell the story, which you did, just tell it like you see it and put all the author judgement in the trash. I’ve been doing a lot of that in editing older me lately. If I have to say how a character should be taken, I need to rewrite.

        Liked by 3 people

      1. I see a few possibilities. If stepmom is good and kids bad, maybe don’t tell us outside of her own thoughts, so we’re not sure if it’s just in her head or if they’re really out to get her. Don’t lay it on too thick too soon. The best hate for characters is one that simmers very slowly and builds as more and more dastardliness is revealed through their actions. Just a few ideas. I hate these children and I want everyone to come to hate them as much as I do.

        Liked by 3 people

  3. Okay, I’ll bite. I couldn’t remember the details of Hansel and Gretel, I had to look it up. Is that what this is? Maybe not, don’t know. Not really. So, I’m standing by, waiting to tune in, not sure, but that’s what I heard, we’ll see. Thanks. Duke

    Liked by 2 people

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