I’m just toying with an idea here.
I sent this to my editor (my Mother, actually, who’s 80 now) and she said, “This is another apocalypse story. That makes me sad.”
Well, shit. Writing apocalyptic tales is all I feel like doing these days.
Anyway, I think think the idea is novel. What do you guys think?
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Anonymole - apocryphal agitators 
At first, I thought it was yet another zombie piece (which might have been your goal). I was very pleased when I finally realized that it wasn’t. An intriguing prospect!
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Whoa! Post apocalypse stories are not my favourites but I very much like this one. Seriously. Write it.
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Write it. One person’s opinion should never stop you. Even if it is Mom.
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I like it.
First person present tense is a cool, tense, often edgy mode. The nice thing is your POV character doesn’t have to reveal background information, which can make holding out on the reader easier. Although if you need to reveal a lot of background info, it might make it awkward.
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“The Road”, “The Stand”, “Year One”, “every other journey-during-an-apocalypse-story”.
I don’t know. I’ve got three others, you know, with a post-apocaporn, dystopian feel, started and sitting their staring, the disdain, the disgust on their faces like I’m a Hampton’s teen-pregnancy.
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Yeah. I will say I’m not particularly a fan of post-apocalyptic fiction set immediately after the apocalypse. Centuries or millenia later are more fun because things have settled into some new and alien form of society and everyone isn’t miserable all the time.
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That was my first novel, 250 years after. The Bonneville Sea had returned.
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“Finish it, don’t, who the fuck cares? You’ll find your niche, find the stuff that compels you to finish it. Until then, throw it a the wall, a sentence, a paragraph, if it sticks, maybe that the sign it has legs.”
“Oh, just tired of everyone’s opinions forming some sort of context for one’s creativity. Fuck ’em.”
Here ya go. Physician, heal thyself.
Seriously–if you are excited about the story, then you should write it! I was panicking a bit reading it, so I think there’s potential.
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I look in the mirror. “Shut up and take your medicine!” Oh, alright.
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Bloody direct.
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Just holding up Moley’s mirror for him.
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Love the idea. I would keep it in first person–very engaging. My first novel was written in present tense–not difficult, you just have to be consistent with the way you use it. Pot-apocalyptic–one of my favourite things. I’m already really enjoying your world building and terminology!
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I think I’d like your mom.
However, if this is what you’re into, and you obviously are, you should totally do it. And yeah, who needs redeeming?
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“…better, faster, deeper if you knelt, pulled a kid’s face off the cement and gave them a drink while considering their plight…” ok, straightforward advice I can grok. Apologies for posting link twice. Also, I think I’ve focused my motivation down to something simple, achievable and sustainable: “Self improvement.”
Yah. That’s the ticket.
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A lot of interesting concepts here. I think present tense is difficult to sustain for a full length novel. I think mom should be a character in your novel! Not enough 80 year old super heroes!
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I went looking for an example of First Person – present tense, and found “The Hunger Games” which I remember enjoying (back before I lost my reader-enjoyment hat).
And yeah, Mom should be a character here.
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Not sure if you’ve heard of this but I’m thinkin’ of dusting off 250 words and sending them in. Do you have an opinion on this? Oh. And I can say I’m getting the simplicity of “show don’t tell” but I’ll wait to see if these greater understanding is reflected in any future writing. Anyway, check this out:
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I hadn’t seen that. I watched the first reading and the editors comments — compelling all around. That first story set a pretty high bar.
Thanks for this. I’ll keep it around, maybe listen to some more. The girl’s voice though, I’d rather have a different narrator.
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Yeah, fckn’ annoying video which is why I haven’t listened to the whole thing yet. Anyway, next submission is January. Evidently they do this every 3 months. Keep on eye on their website, so I’ve been advised.
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Ok, what your Mother said…but PH already gobbled that response. Then what PH said…although I only comprehend dimly…somethun ’bout ‘splainin’, showin’ not tellin’…to continue…I love you actually have an outline/direction/plot laid out for your story…such advanced thinking! Now, onto the writing itself: I’m diggin’ it and the concept it great! Reminiscent of The Stand? Meh. I keep reminding myself there are SO many Vampire books and I thought THAT topic was saturated! Your opening line is a great grabber ’cause that is THE fear…the phone will die and humanity will lost contact with itself and all those social media friends….I want to read more…
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I think Mom is right. However – if you want to re-write The Stand, get it on. I will say to you what I learned from Tony Hillerman – get the f8ck out of your protagonist’s head, even for minute. Find him a sidekick, a talking dog, a slobbering moron, it matters not but it keeps you from ‘splainin’ every damn thing and hitting the snooze button. Imagine all that as a story instead of reading like a blurb for a story. I know you don’t like people or conversation but it doesn’t need to be obvious in your writing. Splainin’ all that stuff about compassion would work better, faster, deeper if you knelt, pulled a kid’s face off the cement and gave them a drink while considering their plight in all that self centered head time. I hate this line but show, you know? Total tell is reader hell.
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Yeah, McCarthy I’m not. I’ll need a buddy. Maybe they’re already with me…
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Maybe you should throw your characters together and let them run with it, see where it goes.
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I’m not sold on the idea. Too much like other stories. I’d prolly not be able to keep up my enthusiasm level.
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Your enthusiasm should be for listening and transcribing. “Here ya go people. We got this and this and this and we’re headed there, maybe. Get it on.” All the planning and the science and that bullshit is add on. Get something happening, splain later. You get a character in a situation doing something besides inside YOUR head and you have a story. It’s a simple trick. “I lit her cigarette with the dead guy’s lighter.” Not, Me and this girl were standing around in a room and I’m thinking how did her grandpa die and now what and… fuck that. Get something happening. “I lifted the kid’s head off the ground to see if he was breathing. He was. I held his head up, scooped up some rain water with a red plastic cup I carried around for these moments, The kid came to. Well, it was drown or snap out of it.
“You eaten lately?” hold on… a dog walks up maybe, licks your hand, the kid mumbles its name. “Shit. Come on.” You drag the kid out of the rain. Now you have a sidekick. You do all that backstory shit with “How long have you been like this? Since the waves started. “Here.” Protag sticks some electrodes on the kid, he starts to reviive. Where’d you get that? Made it out of EKG parts. Whoa, I think I’m gonna puke. That’s just your metabolism coming back… Jeez man, it ain’t rocket science. You have a story but you’re afraid to tell it like nobody wants to come along on your adventure. Let go and let it roll. All these people are your invisible friends. The kid, the dog… now I’m interested in a story, not some sci fi gobbledy gook on the front end. Story first, splainin is a weave.
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Also, clue number one – They’re ALL like other stories. What makes them readable is characters we care about.
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Hey, that’s understandable!
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Be Cool mainly about the music industry…I can see why you liked this one.
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..and gangsta’s with Chili.
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Well, yes and no. Some of it is spot on and a lot of it is Leonard riffing on gangstas. If you approach it as metafiction this book is as much about Elmore and it is Chili. Read it from outside and it’s Elmore telling you how he writes, how he gathers characters and material and scenes through Chili. Chili is looking to write something, so is Elmore. Something he can sell, maybe even as a movie. So they (EL and Chili) go through this whole caper with no real arc or motivation other than to get enough material together for a story they can hand off and maybe get a movie deal out of. Just like “Get Shorty”. In fact, this is pretty much Get Shorty II and EL is so good he makes it look different. But it’s damn near the same book, different look. And EL tells us that. Particularly the end where he tells the girl (paraphrased) we got characters, we got action we got plenty of material, lets hand it off to (screenwriter) Now if that’s not the same thing Chili was doing in Get Shorty I’ll eat my shoe.
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