Dear Mole: Bon Anniversaire!

Whether we employ philosophy, humor or barbaric yawps of self-righteous indignation, it’s all just noise. Distraction. A source of temporary comfort, perhaps, but pragmatically impotent. That’s just fine with me. In fact, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

If you know of a better way to pass the time amidst this vast American Confederacy of Dunces, I’m all ears.

Covid has ensured that Thanksgiving is a wash this year, which is also just fine with me.

So here’s a little Christmas cheer instead:

Fa La La La La,

‘Mudge

Dear Mole: An Adorable Kitten

Congrats on the new gig.

It sounds as if your recent health scare may have opened new perspectives for you, and that’s good. It also has you ruminating on your own mortality, naturally.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you got locked into one oppressive perspective indefinitely?

Can you imagine someone that fears survival considerably more than he fears death?

Rhetorical queries, of course, designed to give some idea of the state of dull anhedonia in which I currently reside.

I don’t wish to start any new chapters. I don’t deign to imagine that my life has any purpose or that I have any legacy to fulfill. I’m not particularly sad or upset or desperate – just terminally jaded and absolutely disinterested in the pointless perpetual peregrinations of my own species. I can’t imagine starting a new career or a new romance or even a new hobby. Those are things in which people with a zest for life or a sense or purpose engage.

In fact, if I do manage to survive for another month or two, which I probably will, I shall have no choice but to embark upon a new chapter called homelessness. Somehow I don’t find myself very worried about this. Quoth the Retard: “It is what it is.”

I don’t talk to people anymore because I’ve almost forgotten how. Perhaps losing my ability to communicate completely can constitute some sort of a goal. Everyone’s gotta have a goal, right?

Hey, look, here’s a cute kitty:

Pfft,

‘Mudge

Dear Mole: How’re Ya Now?

wayne

How’re ya now?

Good’n’you?

Not so bad.

While you’ve been productively prolific in the dispensation of the written word, I’ve been watching TV.

Since Suzanne alerted me to the existence of a show called Letterkenny the other dayee, staring at the tube has once again become my veritable raison d’etre.

I predict that watching these 2 clips is all it will take for it to become your new favorite thing, too:

Even though I have nothing of substance to say anymore, you still let me spew it here on your site, Mole, and that’s what I appreciates abouts you.

That’s all I’ve got this month. See you in October.

Pitter Patter,

‘Mudge

America’s Hitler 2: Electric Boogaloo

Mole’s passionate excoriation of our retard-in-chief should need no further explanation or context, but when one breaks out the Hitler comparisons, there are still many Americans who would cry “foul!” And no, he wasn’t trying to compare our current situation in the U.S. with the full-fledged Third Reich and its sprawling international complex of death camps. He was trying to warn you about how it all starts.

To that end, here are the facts:

  • Prior to usurping the presidency, Donald Trump was a slumlord, a proudly public racist and a fraud. Remember when the current king of crying “harassment!” spent an entire year harassing President Obama with that racist birth certificate bullshit? Of course, you do. Those of you who do not hail from the East Coast: Google Trump’s public statements (and full-page newspaper ad buy) regarding the Central Park Five after they were exonerated by DNA evidence. Better yet, read the recent book published by his niece, Mary, then get back to me and try to defend his status as a human being, let alone a president.
  • 175,000 Covid-19 fatalities and counting – it’ll all go away like a miracle!
  • On John McCain: “I like people who weren’t captured.” On the late John Lewis: “He didn’t come to my inauguration. Nobody has done more for Black Americans than I have. He should have come.” On Q-Anon: “I’ve heard these are people that love our country.
  • Russia’s dictator elevated Trump to the presidency, not the American voters. Period. Still unsure what to think about this because Mueller was a little too “polite” in the wording of his findings? Then take a look at the 1,000 page report issued this week from a Republican-led Senate committee.
  • Trump threw our entire intelligence community under the bus on an international stage and sided instead with…you guessed it, PUTIN.
  • Babies in cages.
  • All of our former alliances across the globe have been squandered in favor of courting dictators. And, ahem – here’s a direct quote from Orangina: “Kim Jong-Un is the head of the country – and he’s the strong head, don’t let anyone think any different. He speaks and his people sit up in attention. I want my people to do the same.”
  • A bald-faced attempt to rig the upcoming election by rigging it himself, screaming that it’s rigged before it even happens, knee-capping the postal service to suppress the vote and threatening to send armed goons to polling places to intimidate brown people. This is happening RIGHT NOW. Oh, and nobody’s done a goddamn thing about Russia yet. Not a thing.
  • Speaking of Russia, they put bounties on our troops to encourage Taliban members to kill them. Our “law and order” (translation: FASCIST) president refuses to address this with his puppet master because he would rather our soldiers DIE than offend his man crush in the Kremlin.
  • William Barr publicly and deliberately mischaracterized the findings of the Mueller report, then proceeded to fire (or attempt to fire) every U.S. attorney working on cases involving Trump or his criminal associates. Trump’s big fat lap dog also choreographed the tear-gassing of peaceful protestors using the military to facilitate a bullshit photo op.
  • “There were very fine people on both sides.” Charlottesville, 2017.
  • When directly questioned about Putin’s brutality to his own people (most recently on the poisoning of Russia’s most prominent dissident), Trump’s go-to answer is “we’re not very innocent, either”. Very true, Asshole – and you’ve done more than anyone to ensure that’s a fitting motto for the United States.
  • None of the above matters one iota to approximately 40% of the American citizenry. That means that 4 out of 10 people I encounter on a daily basis are cowardly, racist authoritarian sycophants. I, for one, would rather die than live in such a selfish, fucked up society. If that sounds like an overreaction, then I demand that you stop quoting Patrick Henry immediately.

Throughout my life, I’ve often pondered the mass insanity of the German populace in the early 1930’s. The most common excuse heard from “decent” Germans after the war was that they “didn’t know it would be so bad” or that “it was just the way things were”. Sorry, Assholes, but that doesn’t cut the mustard for me. I currently view Trumpists in the exact same way, even those who share my last name. I will not accept “we didn’t know” because the facts are screaming in their faces. They just REFUSE to see it. For that, I detest each and every one of them. Not a very enlightened view, I know, but it’s how I feel. I cannot take “the high road” since anything short of pure venom falls on willfully deaf ears in 21st Century America. This is my home and they have destroyed it and I will never forgive anyone who had a part in this.

God bless America.

Dear Mole: Filthy Rich

 

Big news! I am $84.15 wealthier than I was just five minutes ago.

In order to pocket that money, I had to delete The Desert Curmudgeon from the internet. That’s as it should be. I think the handful of lackluster posts I composed right out of the gate made it clear that I really didn’t give a rat’s ass about starting up a new blog.

Regardless, here’s hoping somebody picks up the slack and finishes what I started with The StarLost.

On to today’s question: where do you see yourself in 77 days?

Swimming Pools, Movie Stars,

‘Mudge