Cosmic Voices Take #2

Still waitin’ on that third shoe, the last in the Bad-Things-Trio, to drop…

In the mean time, Anonymole got a job offer, so he won’t be kicked out onto the street.

I used to work for some guys in Utah (worked for them twice actually). Serendipitously, I received a call today, from the main guy there. He offered me a job writing Node.js, Rust, S3, DynamoDB, MongoDB, none of which I’ve ever worked with before. But, hey, they know I can learn what needs to be learned and quickly become productive. And the offer was more than I could have wished for.

So, once this month has passed—the love/hate relationship that it is, I’ll be heads down, elbows deep in crazy new programming languages.

Wounded by Covid

I thought I’d eked by. I thought the ravaging flames of “corporate actions” had dwindled and snuffed out. I thought I had a future.

I thought wrong.

Turns out the totem pole continues to get Jenga’d from the bottom up. And my developer spirit, squatting there smug with a grimace like the Cheshire Cat, just got flicked to the burn pile.

“Call me.” The Prick (you remember him) MS Teams messaged me.

“ME?” (I’d never Teams chatted this guy, ever.)

“Yes”

“This is Anonymole.”

“Your position has been eliminated. You’ll make arrangements with HR to return the phone and laptop. It’s another heavy round of layoffs. Sorry.”

(Yeah, sure you are.)

I guess I’ll have more time to write now. Just what I always wanted.

 

The Daily Grind

What is it that you actually do?

Ha! I’m glad you asked. Well, let me tell you…

Today, dissolving into tomorrow, I’ve got this issue with a software project that contains more than 1,000,000 lines of code where the primary “tribal knowledge” developer was summarily laid off due to economic and COVID related business reasons back in May. “Hey ‘Mole, can you fix this?”

“Uh, does my livelihood depend upon it?”

[Cough]

“I’ll get right on it.”

So, here’s the deal:

Azure Constant Integration/Constant Deployment, CICD in DEVOPS parlance, has been building and deploying this 54 project, 1,000,000+ code line web application, containing ASP.NET, RazorPages, AngularJS, Angular+, EntityFramework and myriad other industry provided WebService endpoints for WSDL configuration and JSON data translation and has failed to XML/XSL translate the web.config file to include the RELEASE version of the configuration payload.

So, I had to figure out exactly why this CICD Publish step in AZURE’s incredibly useful but mindbogglingly complex Build + Release Pipeline process was NOT honoring our web.config transform embedded in the .CSPROJ file that contains the instructions for Publishing the entire ensemble.

Ah, I said, we’ve (I, now that all the other developers have been cast to the COVID wayside) included a BeforeBuild step in the project file but not a BeforePublish step, where we should be injecting the RELEASE nodes of the XML so that when we ship the whole payload from DEV to QA to UAT to PROD server (allowing each band of Quality-Assurance brothers/sisters their time to pass muster on the said server environments) the appropriate changes accompany the aforementioned web.config file.

Voila! Problem solved. Until tomorrow, when the apparent solution exposes internal corporate credentials, during non-TLS1.2 compliant transfer to a vendor that “says” they need the API to the EF data project but, hey, we know better and they can use the default login’s to access the data through REST just like all the other smucks who want in.

Right? Am I right?

If you’re reading this, way-the-fuck-down-here, know this: all of that up above is legit. Real, actual, nightmare inducing, shadow in the mirror—with a ghostly hand upon your shoulder, shit. Everyday is like this. Only way, way more involved, with another dozen software languages tossed in. Who the fuck has even heard of X++? Or VUE or BLAZOR, or geezus ach crist!

So, now you know what I do for my day job. What do you do?

[Here’s a funny aside: Azure is Microsoft’s Cloud solution right? Well, what is the definitions of “azure”… the color of a cloudless sky! What Dumb Fucks! I’d have called it Olympus, The Data Fortress in the Sky! Armed with God like capabilities and protection against Titan-like threats.]

 

Corporate Charity

Public corporation charity is a crock.

Public corporations, those with symbols on a stock market exchange, have a single master – share holder equity. Absolutely everything they (the executives in concert with the board of directors) do is with the intent to increase (or maintain) share holder equity.

Everything.

Including pretending to “care” for the environment, community or their employees.

Last week the public corporation for which I work fired 10% of the corporate headquarters staff (40 people) and 10% of the shop floor staff (1000 people).

I slipped by (||) that far from getting the ax. Unfortunately, the fellow with whom I work, everyday—side by side—on software projects got the knife. His Business Analysis partner was cut too. And so, with a single whack of their brain dead sword, corporate gutted the “tribal knowledge” of one of the more important software applications in use by two dozen repair shops around the country. “The rest of you developers will have to take on the load.” — yeah right.

The CEO, up to now, had been one of those who touted the “we’re all one big family” vibe at every quarterly all-hands meeting. — yeah right.

And so it was with incredulity that I received an email which explored how important it was for this corporation to account for all the volunteer time we had invested in the last 12 months, including how important we thought the environment, community and education was and how this corporation should pursue supporting such things.

What a crock.

No matter what a public corporation says to the world, despite all of its press releases, all of its so called public principles of business conduct, there is one tenet they must obey above all others — increase share holder equity.

Everything else is a lie.

 

Time for a cruise?

Cruise ship zombie crews

come drifting ashore.

CruiseshipGraveyard

The cruise industry is dead. Nearly 100 massive cruise ships are anchored around the world, still full of crew who are trapped with no way to disembark save to swim.

What do you do with a fleet of abandoned floating hotels?

Connect ’em in a circle and SeaStead? Waterworld anyone? Run ’em up upon the reefs in Tonga and Kiribati? Floating laboratories? Prisons?

If there was every an industry so tenuously poised at the end of exorbitant spending, this is it.

P.O.S.H.? Ha!

T.R.A.S.H maybe: Terrified Rabid Adults Seething Hysterically.