Seriously though: Why so serious?

Here lately, there has been a trend in my mind toward the serious side of things, all things. Only discuss, present, and describe matters of a certain gravitas. If it’s not about writing or writing itself, dissuade myself from posting. Even my poetry, the haikus and such, tended to tip the scale toward the heavy, the consequential. Soul weighting seems the fashion. Perhaps it’s leakage of my existential dread that imbues my notions of what is worthy of sharing.

It’s sad, really.

In such a state I recently, systematically wiped all subscribers from this blog. Such an act is not without precedent. I’d done the same a few years ago. Clean slate and all that. However, there are a few here who attach themselves, like ticks, to the skin of this site. They must be immune to starvation.

I realize that such counter-productive behavior is exactly that. My mother was often wont to say, “You’d cut off your nose to spite your face.” At the time I had no idea what she meant, having started this self-deprecating behavior in my teens if not earlier. I’ve kept up the momentum. I suppose there are some facets of one’s personality that are indelibly etched, branded early for whatever reason.

The mere fact that I’m reflecting on this must say something, though. Right?

In such light, dim as it is, I will therefore award myself a Fandangly.

I blame Suzanne over at her site.

The theory, twice fold, is that, firstly (as I take it), one should not have need of a momentous occasion to celebrate through one’s blog. If the falling of autumn leaves strikes you as worthy – post it. If you should discover a spider’s sodden egg-ball in the bottom of your drained coffee cup – post it. If instead of using a soothing sound as your phone’s ring-tone you use the noise of a barfing cat – post it.

And secondly, the concept that a singular notion can be intentionally turned into a viral meme, is not lost on me. It was 2010 when I decided I’d try and do the same; infect the Web with a word. Coin a term and see if I could spread it, intentionally, to see how far I could push it into the consciousness of the net.

The word I created was “leximize”: a portmanteau of maximize and lexicon: to maximize the lexical exposure of a word or meme. I intended to leximize leximize. My success was minimal. Maybe Suzanne’s will flourish.

For this effort I have given myself the above Fandangly award. Yay Me!


Why the Universe, Gulp says Gator

Wouldn’t it be simpler if the Universe didn’t exist?

All things being equal, the existence of the Cosmos adds way more complexity to a zero-state system. Before the Big Bang, the Nothing had no reason to complicate matters and spawn a sticky, messy, chaotic New-Thing. Why bother? Why add the burden of all that extra stuff when no stuff could have continued much more easily? Ugh. Now all this stuff is here and it’s all jumbled up, trying to spread out, trying to self-organize, trying to make sense of a thing that makes no sense.


Monkey gets sick and dies. But, he’s not dead, only comatose. Still, they bury him.

Coyote digs him up and Monkey goes for a ride on the back of Coyote.

Coyote gets hit by a car and Monkey hangs around talking to Vulture.

But Eagle hates Vulture and when he sees him, swoops down screaming. Monkey has never heard of Eagle and sees a chance to take another ride. Whoosh, off they go.

Eagle flies so high that Monkey can no longer see the Earth. Thinking this must be Heaven he lets go and lands on Cloud. Cloud likes visitors and Monkey and she begin a game of Pareidolia.

That’s a Volcano, says Monkey. No, it’s a Gaia zit, says Cloud.

Gross, says Monkey and tires of the game. Fuck you, says Cloud and promptly drops Monkey into the swamp where Gator has been waiting for lunch.

Hi, says Monkey. Gulp, says Gator.

Lo, Saturnalia

Just a ditty tossed out amongst the dross of logging activity metrics and channeling error messages into PagerDuty (oh what a bane on society that thing is!)

(Starts like JingleBells…)

Lo, Saturnalia
On Saturnalia go,
Out into the snow,
Take your master’s clothes,
And wear them like your own.

Drag your keg of beer,
To the bonfire burning near,
Lift your mug on high,
and raise your voice in cheer.

Ohhhh, the old year dies,
the new year’s born,
the gods are smiling down.
Saturn on his lofty throne,
is baying like a hound.

The ol’ yule log,
the roasting hog,
the gifts to loved ones dear,
are demonstrated, celebrated
to last throughout the year.

Dear Mudge: Hot Ones

Hey Mudge,

I know you enjoy television style production and so I just wanted to share a couple of YouTube videos that were some of the best, I thought, in honest television production. I include EweToob as a TV platform because, come on, it’s passively watching some production video, right? And… I watch it on my damn TV.

The first one, which I just finished watching, is Elijah Wood who does such an incredible job as a guest that my respect for the man and his history shot up a hundred fold, at least.

The next is the same show, but with Matt Damon, who is just as polite and gracious. Kudos to both of these fellows.