Wounded by Covid

I thought I’d eked by. I thought the ravaging flames of “corporate actions” had dwindled and snuffed out. I thought I had a future.

I thought wrong.

Turns out the totem pole continues to get Jenga’d from the bottom up. And my developer spirit, squatting there smug with a grimace like the Cheshire Cat, just got flicked to the burn pile.

“Call me.” The Prick (you remember him) MS Teams messaged me.

“ME?” (I’d never Teams chatted this guy, ever.)


“This is Anonymole.”

“Your position has been eliminated. You’ll make arrangements with HR to return the phone and laptop. It’s another heavy round of layoffs. Sorry.”

(Yeah, sure you are.)

I guess I’ll have more time to write now. Just what I always wanted.


Covid Haiku

Virus spreads with song.
Breathe deep the gathering doom.
Watch lights fade to dark.


Children gaze in vain.
Orange wrapped the playground sits.
Elders tut in masks.


Millennials taunt.
Years must pass to threaten us.
Oblivion grins.


Essential, food is.
Power, water, light are gifts.
Sacrificed as debt.


Roll the dice, eyes closed.
Venture out to risk supplies.
Hitchhikers return.


Years will pass, the same.
Forever changed, our lives are.
Stranger! Trust no one.


COVID Survivors Arise

The vaccine has failed. Only exposure, infection, and survival can enable future immunity.

Those testing positive for antigens of COVID-19 can get a special virus-tainted-ink ‘C’ tattooed on their wrist proving they’ve survived the virus. These, and only these folks will be allowed to congregate in large numbers and attend ‘C’ validated sporting and entertainment events.

C-bars and restaurants will open. C-trains, buses, ferries, stores and airlines will exclusively cater to COVID survivors.

All non-exposed will be forced to live in the shadows, begging from the ‘C’ people, thinking it better to risk infection and possible death than to live an ostracized life.

Fake ‘C’ tattoos will be dealt with immediate injection with the virus.

Survivors have begun to experience strange dreams of a distant, other-world.

Communication has begun.

The COVID-AllMind is born.

[Cite: Akira (George F.) + Michael Crichton’s Andromeda Strain + Outbreak + dozens of memes throughout the years.]

Lame Apocalypse

This is not the apocalypse I’ve been hoping for.

In fact, this is no apocalypse at all. This is just people freaking out because this is a NEW way to die, one that nobody has previously experienced. There are still dozens of much more probable ways to die, but we don’t care about those, we know all about those.

It’s the devil we don’t know that instills panic.

Will this devil be worse than suicide? Drug overdoses? Septicemia? Influenza? What about diabetes or auto accidents? Where’s our perspective?

Vanished with the specter of this new addition to our panoply of mortality.

How many apocalyptic authors got that run-on-toilet-paper meme right? None that I’ve read. “Betty, that apocalisp thing they keep talkin’ ’bout on the news is gettin’ mean. Best you go down to the Wal-wart and buy as much damn shit-sheets you can get your hands on.” “Yeah, paper towels’ll do in a pinch.”

With work shut down, with schools closed, with all the banal, mindless pastimes cancelled, how many more of the lower 80% of wage-earners are going to stick a barrel in their mouth, or pop a dozen fentanyl? What will be the fallout from all this draconian “individual distancing” (social distancing — that’s a bloody oxymoron)? Twice as many deaths from the cure than from the cold?

This apocalypse sucks, but it’s all we got. So, I’m enjoying the work-from-home policy—passed down from on high, the extra lunch time, the peaceful time on the toilet (with my hoard of TP), and the new 4:00 PM happy-hour (who’s to know?). I’m no fool though, and so I’m boosting my vitamin-D intake, lots of fluids, and praying that someone will whizz by and breathe me a solid dose of coronavirus cuz’, let’s face it, gotta get busy dying fast or get bored dying slow.

Top 15 Major Causes of Death in the U.S. 2017

Rank Cause of death Number of deaths
1 Heart disease   647,457
2 Malignant neoplasms (tumors)   599,108
3 Accidents (unintentional injuries)   169,936
4 Chronic lower respiratory diseases   160,201
5 Cerebrovascular diseases (stroke)   146,383
6 Alzheimer’s disease   121,404
7 Diabetes   83,564
8 Influenza and pneumonia   55,672
9 Kidney disease   50,633
10 Intentional self-harm (suicide)   47,173
11 Chronic liver disease and cirrhosis   41,743
12 Septicemia   40,922
13 Hypertension (2)   35,316
14 Parkinson’s disease   31,963
15 Pneumonitis due to solids and liquids   20,108
All other causes   561,920
All deaths 2,813,503