Emailing the dead

Dear Janice,

Why haven’t you returned my emails? You don’t text me, nor twitter. What’s up?

Hello? Janice?

Google will never delete your account. It will continue to accumulate email long after you die. Consider all the accounts you will leave gathering correspondence years after your fingers have ceased to digitally transmit. The Archive of the Dead. Talk about a Dead Letter Queue.

Think of all the millions of accounts that, right now, continue to collect their penis enlargement, their Nigerian prince, their Russian wife emails. And consider all the languishing friends and ancient lovers seeking to reconnect. The forgotten business associates, the friends of friends who read your book, saw your paintings, wondered about your clever children — their communiques swallowed by the pit of an abandoned account.

Dear Mole,

I’m slumbering here, terra-incognita, considering your inquires as I softly chuckle at the thought of sharing your subterranean abode. Why the urgency? Do you sense the closing of doors? The drawing of curtains? Will our letters find each other in the Ether-space once you surrender your daily toils? Or will the silicon memory that embodies our digital personas petrify, become crystal quartz again as the eons enfold us?

Courteous Email Habits

If someone you know well, a close friend or family member, sends you an email do you reply? Answer truthfully now.

Do you reply every time? When to you shine them on? Do you ever ignore requests?

“Hey Reginald, could you read this bit and tell me what you think? I’m curious about this website, what do you think? I’m asking all my close associates, what do you think about me moving to New Zealand? Do you have any recommendations for the type of car I should buy?”

What I’m referring to are questions which might be solicitations for your opinion, or recommendations. Or just broad questions regarding what you may or may not know anything about.

Do you answer them?

Me? I always reply. Even if that reply is a “Received — will take a look and reply if I can contribute.”

Others? Well, that’s the prompt for this essay. I’ve been looking for beta readers for various writings of mine. Recently, when I’ve offered the pieces to those I’m sure would be courteous enough to at least reply — nothing. Silence.

What is wrong with you people? Has the world taken the concept of email and turned it into junkmail? Just because email has the word MAIL in it doesn’t automatically mean you treat receipts as trash if you don’t care for the subject matter.

Email is more like a single duplex communication channel. You know, a Walkie-Talkie.

“Reginald, come in Reginald. Over.”

“……”

“WTF Reggie! I know you’re there. I know your radio is turned on. Why won’t you reply? You’re still my brother, cousin, close friend aren’t you?”

Do you treat email like a discard-able communication medium? Like, most email, even from friends and relatives, is junk, trash you can cast into the rubbish bin?