We are NOT living in a simulation

Do not contact your SimAdmin, he can’t help you.

You’ve no doubt heard the theory that our reality, all of ours reality, may actually be a simulation running in some cosmically vast computer system created by monumentally intelligent beings.


A guy named Nick Bostrom originally dreamed this up and so far, no one has figured out how to refute the premise. (Nick was the guy who also proposed the Great Filter theory where humanity is either on the good side or the bad side of the cosmic crap shoot.)

This simulation theory states that, given our understanding of computer simulation and the logarithmic nature of its advancement, the probability that we, ourselves, are artifacts existing within a simulation is not zero. That is, it is possible that we are all just fabrications of some uber-alien intelligence having coded our reality in his basement.


And here’s my theory as to why:

• The computer simulations, you know, games, that are currently being created are far more engaging and empowering than the shit-show we have going as our current existence. And these virtual reality games are only going to get more and more amazing. No future “us” would build an imaginary world of such despicable, detestable agony and hatred and call it an artificial world of entertainment and wonder. Our reality is a hellish existence for billions of humans — why would anyone want to simulate that?

• Or maybe our reality is not a game, it’s a scientific simulation experiment. If this is the case then there are numerous reasons why our “universe” and all its fake physical laws and fabricated history are beyond extreme for an experiment.

  1. If our simulators wanted to recreate our universe as we experience it they would have to have simulated 13.5 billion years of universe generation spawned by some imaginary spark (the Big Bang and all the assumptions that accompany how this reality operates). That lengthy process would take far too long for any superior race to put up with. Even at a time ratio of one of their seconds to a year of ours (they have vastly more powerful computers) it would still take over 150,000 of their days to recreate our current situation.
  2. Why all this bizarre evolutionary complexity? Why go through five separate extinction events, the evolution of reptiles, then dinosaurs, then mammals and finally, only within the last two million years, create a creature that “might” evolve to build a complex society? Just jump to the chase, already.
  3. If they fully fabricated a “fake” starting point, that is, dream up all this fabricated evidence to give us humans the false sense of deep history, again, why so fricking deep and convoluted. And why so much misery and evil in their scenario(s)? (We assume we’re just one of billions of simulations.)
  4. If we are just one of billions, why? For what purpose would any superior race build a computer system just to fabricate a false sense of this frankly mundane scenario? I’m gonna create a billion ant farms with differing sand, water, food, physics just to watch the fake ants live and die. That is how our vastly superior ancestors/predecessors spend their time? If that’s their past time, and they wanted to do it right, they’d seed the ant farms and let them evolve — but again, that would take forever.
  5. Computing is not cheap. A system to simulate our current reality would be costly — energy wise — to run for this long. And if you’re running billions of these… Well, you’re gonna run out of star-power pretty damn fast.

I personally like the first premise the best. If you’re gonna build a simulated universe, give everyone super powers, or the chance to discover or grow them. And for godsake, don’t bring anyone into the game who’s crippled, or sick or too stupid to play it well. “Yeah, I’m gonna create The Sims, and make everyone work for their food, suffer constant disease and depravity and then die bitter and without hope — that’s the game I’m gonna build.”

Nonsense. We’re here living the ugly reality that it is, no simulation, no fabrication by some lofty intellect. Plain old nothing-special life. No superpowers possible.